Sunday, November 30, 2014

Weird things that happen when UK Expats visit the US

We are in the middle of a visit to the US, and it.is.awesome. We are loving all the time with family and friends, plus it just feels like a huge sigh of relief to be in familiar territory. On one hand I would be totally fine to go ahead and move back; I feel like it would be easy to settle back into life here again. On the other, we've become used to certain things about life in the UK that we would miss, and of course the friends we've made.  There are a few things in particular that would have seemed normal a year ago, but after living as outsiders these past months they seem a bit odd. I've been jotting down the last couple of weeks every time something weird like this happens:

Your children open the door to go outside and are mystified by the additional screen door.

You keep looking for the light switch to the bathroom outside the door.

Single-story houses: you feel like you're going to be very out of shape from not climbing stairs all day long.

You find yourself annoyed by waiters interrupting your meal every 5 minutes trying to be helpful (In a pub you order at the bar, pay for your whole meal, take your drinks back to the table and someone brings your food to you, and then you don't hear from the pub staff the remainder of the time).

Free refills at restaurants, what?! You completely overindulge in iced tea.

But drinking hot tea all day long just isn't the same, and besides you miss the tea biscuits.

You get so excited about having a dryer that you do three loads of laundry in one day and end up shrinking a bunch of clothes.

Your kids become obsessed with fluffing things in the dryer to make them warm (blankets, towels, socks, anything!).

You climb into an American car, think, "oh good, this feels pretty natural!" And then panic when you get on the road trying to remember which lane to drive in.

Then you drive in the middle of the road just because you can (no traffic on the country roads, score!).

You rediscover cruise control, high-beams, and potholes.

All these stop lights, couldn't we just put a roundabout here so I don't have to wait?

Parking lots!!! You feel spoiled because you don't have to park half on the street and half on the sidewalk. 

Also, drive-through everything. And pay-at-the pump fuel stations!

Electrical outlets in the bathroom, what luxury! You mean I can take a shower, brush my teeth and dry/curl my hair all in one room?

Your kids are disappointed that squash (a drink) doesn't exist here.

In England it's useless to do your hair because of the wet. In Oklahoma it's pointless because THE WIND. 

After leaving the UK, you find the airplane food delicious, but then you realize it's just because they actually used salt. Then you feel a moment of dread for how bloated you're going to be the whole trip from too much sodium.

You are loving all the American cuisine, but also are thinking, "I could go for a steak and ale pie and cider right now."

What is that bright and shining orb in the sky?! Sun, we have missed you! 

Your daughter keeps giving you coins she finds around the house "for parking" and is confused that you don't need them.

She also keeps asking why you have to drive everywhere instead of walking.

You rediscover what it's like to deal with a 40 degree temperature change in less than 24 hours.

Also, midwest winter=static electricity and dry skin.

You feel a nice sense of camaraderie to not be the only over-emotional person around. Brits do NOT make a scene. 

You miss hearing all sorts of accents when out and about. But then again it's so nice to hear that country twang again!

It feels odd to not sort your trash/recycling/compost, but to instead throw everything in one bin (also, you use the word "bin" by default instead of "trash can") and you feel super wasteful.

Trade-off: pretty green grass year round but gray skies versus brown grass but a huge blue sky.

Sunsets in every color of the rainbow...not blocked out by houses or gray clouds. 

You miss beautiful English countryside and driving by castles and charming half-timbered houses (OK isn't exactly known for its architecture).

People who hug!

You feel right at home again in the US, but miss your UK home at the same time and feel like your heart will always be in two places.