A little Christmas Craftiness

 


This really doesn't even qualify as a tutorial, because it literally takes about five minutes to make (even with little people badgering you the whole time).  I thought I would share for those of you, like me, who are trying to keep little hands busy and out of trouble.  I saw these felt Christmas trees on Pinterest a while back and decided to make one for the girls to decorate, since they had such fun "helping" decorate our big tree.  I have massive amounts of felt from various projects, so I grabbed some, cut out a tree from a large green piece, and masking-taped it to the wall.  Then I cut out different shapes from several colors and viola! Ornaments to decorate their tree.  I have to say, although it doesn't keep them out of our real tree, they seem to be enjoying it (Cbear likes to decorate it, Jellybean likes to take all the decorations off and run away with them...).

"Jesus helped me to not be sad"

We had a pretty rough week here.  I had some personal issues that were making me emotional and tired and just plain icky feeling.  I wanted peace and quiet and rest, so of course the girls were clingy and cranky 24/7.  It felt like someone was crying or hanging on my leg all day long the entire week, so I am beyond excited that the weekend is finally here.  Everyone's asleep now, the house is quiet and I was reflecting on how awful this week was and how I epically failed as a mom (I had zero patience...my poor kids) and I remembered the highlight.  So I have to write it down before I forget that something good happened in the midst all of the other crap going on.

Cbear is my little sensitive introvert.  She doesn't generally like being around lots of people, especially if they're loud.  And while she's energetic and talkative at home, she gets very shy when out in public.  Situations that are out of the norm scare her, and she's super sensitive to tones.  For example, if I raise my voice or speak too sternly, she accuses me of "being mean at her."  Also, when Jellybean (who's the total opposite and is all, "hey, let's play, everybody!  I mean, everyone's here to see me, right?") shrieks excitedly because she wants to play, Cbear bursts into tears because she thinks her sister is yelling at her.

Bearing all this in mind, we have particular difficulty on mornings when we go to MOPS.  Since it's only twice a month, she still isn't used to her classroom and she cries every time we go.  This past Monday, it started while we were still at home getting ready and I was talking it up: "We get to go and play with friends at MOPS today, won't that be so much fun?"  Her little face puckered up and she said, "I don't want to go to MOPS!" She sobbed the whole time we were getting dressed, brushing teeth and putting on shoes.  Somewhere in all that she started saying, "I want Jesus to be in my classroom!" over and over again between cries.  I'm not sure where that came from, but a few weeks ago she started saying that whenever we'd go to church, so I'd been trying to explain to her that even though we can't see Jesus right now, he's always with us in our hearts and we can pray and talk to him anytime.  I tried to reinforce this while we were getting ready.  I stopped to pray with her and even though she was still crying, we headed out the door.

I was nervous as to how the day would go.  It's never easy to leave my child in someone else's care when she is crying like her heart will break, but it's especially hard when we're not even there yet and she's already saying she doesn't want to go!  The mommy guilt creeps in and I start second-guessing everything I do.  I tried to stay positive and remind her that Jesus would be with her, and if she got scared or sad she could pray to him and he would help her.  By the time I dropped Cbear off at her classroom, she had stopped crying.

When my meeting was over and I went to pick the girls up, Cbear was actually smiling and having a good time!  Her teacher told me she did exceptionally well that day.  As we were leaving, I asked her if she prayed to Jesus in her classroom, and she said excitedly with a huge grin on her face, "I did! Jesus helped me to not be sad!"

And yeah, I did cry on the way home after hearing that.

Jellybean turns one and life lately

Last Saturday Jellybean turned one year old!  We officially no longer have a little baby...hello toddlerhood!  I'm a little sad, but at the same time feel like fist-bumpin' my husband in celebration of surviving another year of parenthood.  The kids are both still in one piece (each) and we don't appear to be messing them up too badly.

We celebrated Jelly's bday with a family party complete with frito chili pies (hey, Jelly's favorite foods are beef, beans, and cheese, so why not?) and cupcakes/ice cream.  She was very concerned about the frosting on her cupcake and made a yucky face whenever it came near her mouth.  And forget about the ice cream!  Finally she decided the best course of action would be to turn it upside down and eat it from the bottom so as to avoid the strange fluffy stuff on top (which, by the way, was delicious.  My kid is crazy.).  After seeing the mess in and under her highchair, though, I'm not sure she actually ingested any of it.  She had lots of fun playing with new toys and her cousins, though!

Life has been pretty crazy lately (thus my neglect of the blog).  If you thought some of my other posts were a little chaotic, imagine what things must be like if I can't even catch a minute to write about what my wild girls are up to.  I have tried, though, so I thought I'd give you the titles of all the half-finished posts I've started along with a brief summary of what I was writing about:

Sleepless Nights and Busy Days
This was me wondering if I'll ever know what it feels like to be well-rested again.  Jellybean still doesn't sleep through the night, and we've converted Cbear's crib to a toddler bed so she can wander around at all hours of the night now.  Thank goodness we're past the phase where I would find her in the living room with all the lights on at 4 a.m. playing with her toys!  Maybe someday I'll sleep again...I hope...I mean, I do remember about five minutes of wonderful restfulness between the time Cbear started sleeping through the night and getting pregnant with Ellie.  I don't remember life before I had kids.

Body Image Confessions
Something about how I should stop using the excuse "I just had a baby" to justify the elastic-waisted pants and lack of exercise (although I'd like to see someone else carry/chase two 20+ pound kiddos and all their crap around every day and then tell me that's not exercise/weight training).  Between when I started writing this post several months ago and now I actually did start exercising several times a week doing pilates, tabata and walking/running, and was feeling great, but then I hurt my knee running and have had a little setback.  But I've also come to accept that my body will never look the same as it did pre-babies, and that's okay.  I'm a little more mom-ish now...at least I'm a soft place for kiddies to snuggle!

Let's Play Pretend!
Oh, this was a fun one I wish I'd finished!  Cbear has entered a really fun stage of playing pretend and I love it.  One day she had two pet mice named Skippyjonjones and Crocodile, and they kept hiding in the cabinet and we had to get them out to play.  And now there are crocodiles in the living room and hallway we have to battle sometimes to get by.  Recently she's been into playing "doctor" and we have to take care of owies, check out eyes and ears, and give shots and band-aids.  It's so much fun, and I can't wait to see what she'll come up with next!

Look out, kids, Mama's smashing garlic again!
A mini-rant about how Cbear has decided she doesn't need to nap any more (I disagree...although I may need her nap time more than she does) and the majority of our weekdays we have a 2 hour or so battle to get her to sleep.  It's making me slightly cranky, and I kind of felt like the worst mom ever when I was speaking a little harshly and she stuck her hand out at me "Stop, in the name of love" style and said, "Hey.  Stop being mean at me."  My patience is wearing paper-thin, but I'm trying to do better.  I've found smashing fresh garlic cloves helps me cope in some odd way.  So, yes, you do smell garlic, and it's me.

Wal-Mart is the devil.
Do I really need to explain this one?  I try to avoid that store like the plague, but I needed several things there the other day, among them party supplies for Jelly's birthday.  All I wanted were some fall, pumpkin-themed items, which I figured would be easy because it is October, after all.  Nope.  The "holiday shop" is full of Christmas stuff, so I was all over the store looking for fall party supplies, with two whiny, tired kids because it was nearing lunch time and for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-it-wasn't-supposed-to-take-this-long!  I still didn't find what I wanted, but grabbed some plates, napkins, and cups in "fall colors".  Oh, and we had to make two trips to the bathroom (gross!) because Claire announced (loudly) in the dairy aisle "I gotta potty!" (which was true) and then in the Halloween aisle "I gotta poop!" (which was false).  Nobody wants to gamble on the latter one, though, so I took her anyway.

So, there you have it, a snapshot of the things I've wanted to write about the last couple of months.  The trenches of parenting aren't always fun (though it is sometimes!) or glamorous (ever!), but is challenging and making me grow and stretch...and try to see the humor in the ridiculousness.

Cinderella in Boots and Baby Communication

My two-year-old has style.  So don't say I didn't warn you if you see us around town sometime and she's wearing a puffy blue Cinderella princess dress with cowgirl boots.  I'm just letting her express herself...and boy, is it hilarious to see her preferences unfold.

It all started a couple of weeks ago.  See, I sing silly songs all day long because well, what else am I going to do with my time, and sometimes we have dance parties too (in which we may or may not dance to the ending song from High School Musical or the lively tunes of Flogging Molly, which Cbear calls "jumping music"...we have a wide range of tastes in this house).  Somehow with all this dancing "Twinkle, twinkle, little star" turned into the twirling song, and of course one must wear a skirt when twirling (according to my daughter, anyway).  So for the next week she refused to wear anything but, as she called it, a "twinkle twinkle little skirt".  Understand that this meant she wore the same two skirts all week, because apparently denim doesn't qualify: twinkle twinkle little skirts must be a floral print.

One day I had a brilliant idea.  A friend had given us some dress-up clothes and I hadn't shown them to Cbear yet.  And you should have seen her face when I showed her the Cinderella dress.  Priceless. We put it on and she exclaimed, "I'm a little princess now!  Let's show daddy!"  So she wears her princess dress quite often now and even though I'm not totally into the whole princess thing, it is pretty adorable.  There was almost a meltdown today when she had to go to the bathroom with it on and I wasn't in the room and she sat down and peed on it, but I reassured her the dress would survive and she could wear it again later.

Fast forward to the boots.  We just got some hand-me-downs from my cousin and there were a couple pairs of cowgirl boots in the box.  Cbear was so excited, because daddy and her papas wear cowboy boots and now she had her very own.  Well, it was good-bye sandals and flip-flops in our house and now it's all boots all the time.  Mostly without pants on.  She went to church tonight in jean shorts and boots.  Yep, I'm that mom.  I love it.  I love my little Cinderella in boots, because it totally captures the essence of her personality.  On one hand, she's a little girl who wants to be a princess and dance and show daddy how pretty she is.  But she's also my little tomboy in cowgirl boots who loves to run and jump and play in the dirt.  It's just so her, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

In other news, my Jellybean is becoming quite a cute little monster.  I should probably stop calling her that because Cbear has picked it up, but she bares her teeth and scrunches her nose and snorts and growls, so what would you call her?  She also eats books and stickers.  I don't know why.  She's kind of like Animal from the Muppet Babies, only cuter and more lovable.  I guess that makes me the legs with the striped tights?

Jelly's as full of life as ever, so expressive, happy almost all the time with a major temper streak if she doesn't get her way.  And the most determined person I've ever met.  If she could turn herself inside out to try and get something she's not supposed to have I think she would.  She's a little ham and loves to be silly and make us laugh.  I can't wait until she starts talking to see what she has to say.

For now, she has discovered her own way of communicating with us.  A while back she started nodding or shaking her head, and I finally realized that she knew what she was doing when I asked her questions!  We did a lot of baby sign with Cbear, but I've been more lazy with that this time around and she doesn't seem very interested anyway, so I'm just going with her chosen form of communication.  Now I purposely ask her yes or no questions just to see her response.  "Jellybean, do you want to go to bed now?" Vehemently shakes her head no.  "Are you done eating, do you want to get down and play?" Excitedly nods.  She also points to things she wants and then looks at the nearest person with eyebrows lifted so high they're about to jump off her head and mouth open expectantly, like why aren't you hopping to it now?  Especially if someone's eating cheese and not sharing with her or if there's a phone or remote out of reach.  I love watching all these new discoveries and can't wait to see what she'll tell me next!

Why Two are Easier than One

I've been thinking about this topic for quite some time...every time one of my friends mentions that they are so exhausted with one child and can't imagine adding another one, how do I do it with two, etc.  So this post is for all the moms of one.  Here is a well-kept secret: Sometimes two are actually easier than one!

Occasionally I have days where I wonder what life would be like if we only had one child.  On the surface, it seems like it would be easier...my attention wouldn't be divided and there would be plenty of mommy to go around, perhaps discipline would be more effective (Right now it's like this: "I'd love to continue this chat, dear daughter, about why we ask nicely and don't throw a fit, but your sister has climbed into the fireplace and is eating a candle.  Excuse me while I dig candle wax from her mouth, and feel free to totally forget everything I just said and continue to whine.") and maybe I wouldn't be so frazzled. 

On the other hand, there are times when Cbear goes to spend the day with her grandparents or Jellybean takes a long nap and I only have one child.  And while I cherish that one-on-one time (Cbear is loving "helping" me cook or asking me to read Fox in Socks for the millionth time, and Jellybean is totally delighted by me hiding behind something and jumping out) but by the time Cbear returns or Jellybean wakes up I'm actually relieved.  Shocking, I know.  But it does get very tiresome being the sole entertainment for someone.  And while I do encourage them to play on their own, sometimes they flat-out refuse and it's really not effective to try and put away dishes while a ten month old has a death grip on your legs.  Also, it wasn't so long ago that I only had Cbear and I remember how lonely the days could be with just one baby that couldn't talk.  So here are five reasons why two kids are actually easier than one:

1. They entertain each other and always have a friend to play with.  This one takes a few months, but once the younger one is out of the tiny baby stage they can actually interact a bit and the older one can be enlisted to help keep an eye on the younger one.  Watch out if they're out of sight and quiet, though...I made this mistake a few months ago.  They may be sliding through a pee puddle, playing in the toilet, or have escaped into the back yard (this all happened within a thirty minute time span...I was ready to be committed that day).

2.  Communication.  Jellybean can't talk much, but when she does I'm sure it will be entertaining.  For now, Cbear jabbers to her and Jellybean responds with hand gestures, random sounds, clapping, and others.  It's really funny to watch and listen. 

3.  Sweet sibling moments.  There is nothing better than seeing your kids hugging or happily playing together.  Of course it has the ability to morph into something like this: C patting J's head lovingly, saying, "good night, Jellybean...you're beautiful...I love you!" and J sweetly smiling and then reaching out to pinch C's face, resulting in screaming and C saying angrily, "I just want a hug!"  I know, I shared this story in the last post, but it really was hilarious to watch C try to be so nice and J wouldn't have it.

4.  You are never bored.  There's no time for that, and there's always something that needs done or someone that needs attention.  So when you actually get time to yourself, there's a list a mile long of things you'd like to do and it's much sweeter to get to do them.  Simple things bring me so much joy now...reading a book, going out with the hubs, even exercising because it's something good just for me.

5.  Twice the love!  You'll get double the hugs, kisses, and "I wuv you"s.  Jellybean can't say that yet but I'm assuming the endless mantra of "Mamamamamamamama" kind of means the same thing.

Summarizing Summer (Heat, Olympics, and new stuff the kids are doing)

I'm not sure what I've been doing all summer, but it seems like I haven't had much time to do anything other than, you know, sustain life in our house.  Sometimes I imagine it like treading water while juggling bowling balls...but anyway, I haven't updated the blog as much as I would like.  I'll try to remember (what day is it, again?) some of the highlights and post them here.

So what's been going on in our lives, you ask?  Well, record-high temps (isn't that every summer in OK?) have limited our activities.  I was about to start channeling my dad and use phrases like hotter than the hubs of Hades, but thankfully a cold front that has the temps only in the high nineties saved us from that.  The girls and I frequented the splash pad for a while, but lately haven't even ventured there.  I'm thankful for two things: air conditioning and the fact that I am not pregnant this summer.

Confession: I've become a bit of an NBC Olympics coverage junkie, what with being cooped up inside so much and all.  I've always loved the Olympics, though (in the summer...winter Olympics are kind of lame in my opinion).  I love the camaraderie between the teammates and cheering for USA! USA!  But my favorite events (swimming, and to a lesser extent, gymnastics) are over and I'm a little depressed about it and having withdrawals.  Boo for having to wait another four years!

CBear is now in a toddler bed.  I know.  But potty-training has actually been going well, now that I'm paying her to pee (It's not as bad as it sounds.  There's a chart and stickers involved, and for every three stickers she gets coins for her piggy bank.  Whatever works, right?!) and she did not like having a wet pull-up on in bed.  So she would take it off and end up peeing all over the sheets every. stinking. nap/bed time.  Now she can get up to go to the bathroom/wander around/pull off her wall decals/take all her clothes out of the drawers/flush some wash cloths down the toilet/go into Jellybean's room and wake her/etc.  It was a little rough at first, but it's much better now.  Today she didn't get up at all after she got in bed for a nap.  Miracle!

Jellybean took a few steps the other day!  It's so funny to watch her wobble on her chubby little legs and she gets so excited about it.  She can also climb up onto the fireplace now, so that's awesome.  She has a bit of a little temper when she doesn't get her way...I'm scared for the future!  She's happy most of the time and just slightly ornery.  And she has six teeth now!  Jellybean doesn't look like a baby anymore, which makes me kind of sad.  But she's still a mama's girl and says my name over and over (she also finally said "Dada!" We heard her in bed over the monitor one night, laying in her crib saying it.) and climbs into my lap whenever I'm near.

I love some of the sweet sister moments I get to witness now.  A few nights ago, I told CBear it was time to say good night to Jellybean, and she got right up in her face.  Lovingly stroking her cheek, she said softly, "I love you Jellybean...oh, you're so beautiful...good night, sister!"  In response, Jellybean smiled sweetly, reached out and tried to pinch the skin off CBear's cheek...hard.  It turned violent quickly with CBear trying to free herself and yelling angrily, "I want to give you a hug!"  Like she really wanted to be nice but Jellybean was interfering.  Ah, sisters.

Summertime has been fun, but we sure are ready for fall around here.  Cooler weather, new routines with fall activities picking back up, and everything that makes autumn AWESOME and my favorite season: pumpkins, hayrides, bonfires, apple cinnamon fragrance and flavors, beautiful colors, and all the holidays coming up involving family and food.  The leaves have started to fall off our neighbor's maple trees into our yard...which could be because they're dying in this drought and heat, but I choose to believe fall is coming early.  CBear was standing under them as the breeze blew the leaves down, armed with a plastic shovel from her sand box yelling, "I catch the leaves!  I got one!"  My feelings exactly, sister.  Fall: Bring. It. On.

Recent happenings and making healthy food choices...impossible?!

I've been a little MIA from the blog lately, but let's just say that the last few weeks have been...ehrm...challenging.  C and E (who has the energy to type out full nicknames anymore?) are in cahoots and on a mission to drive me to the nuthouse.  Okay, so it's not that bad, but C is exerting her little *extremely strong* will and decided a few weeks ago she doesn't want to take a nap or go to bed at night.  She cries and cries, "Mommymommymommymommy!" (or Daddy) until one of us goes into her room and then wants to play.  It's like that preview for Family Guy on TBS where Stewie says, "Mom!  Mommy!  Mama!  Mama!" over and over until the mom finally says, "What?!" and he replies, "Hi," and evil giggles.  No bueno.  Thank goodness she's still in a crib.  It's getting better, and although she doesn't happily lay down anymore she only fusses for a minute or two now and then crashes.  And this is just one example...I was hoping the terrible twos were a myth because I have no patience for fit-throwing, but I'm having to learn it as my child tests it daily.

On top of this, E is currently cutting four upper teeth.  Seriously, four AT ONCE?  Yep.  She's been much crankier and clingy than normal.  I really hate that she doesn't feel good and wish I could make it better, but we're just riding it out (along with some Tylenol and cold cloths to chew on).  We've had a breakthrough, though...the past four nights E has slept all night (with no prompting from me, one night she just slept through her normal night feed and it's continued all week)!  This is huge.  Mommy like.  I'm trying not to be too excited in case we have a regression, but so far so good.

I think we've finally turned a corner, because this week's been much better and I feel like I can breathe again and enjoy the girls.  So here's what we've been up to the past month or so...the mundane, dramatic, silly, etc.:

*I earned my "mom of the year" award by letting C and E play on the trampoline together while I sat in a chair to read for a few minutes.  I looked up and C had unzipped the net and E was crawling out.  I couldn't get there in time and she fell right on her head.  Awesome.  A quick trip to the doctor confirmed that she was just fine and there was no damage other than a scrape above her eye...but I think I earned a few gray hairs and maybe developed a heart condition from it.

*C has become really interested in silly songs.  Out of the blue one day when I was singing to her before naptime she requested "Itsy bitsy Ellie".  Once I sang that she followed with "Ellie bitsy spider", "Twinkle, twinkle little mouse" and "Twinkle, twinkle little mommy" for all of which I made up verses on the spot.  I was super proud of my skills.  Her favorite the last few days has been "Twinkle, twinkle little sheep".  I have no idea where she comes up with this stuff, but I love hearing her giggle while I sing.

*We've made trips to the splash pad, water park, and Kiddie Park, which the kids loved!  E thinks she can swim by herself and C always asks for "the blue one" when choosing the car/plane/boat/swing at the park.  She'll settle for purple, but the world will implode if she has to sit in a pink, yellow, orange or green one.  We also go swim at the grandparents' house, and C really likes their "little pool" aka hot tub.

*I hate potty training.  Enough said.

*Took C to her first Drillers baseball game.  She called it faceball and wondered why she didn't get to play.  They have some awesome things for kids to do, though, so we hope to go back again!

*E is a big girl now and eats three meals a day...if you changed her diapers you would understand this significance and why I'm not super stoked about it.

*We have reached the point where C and E can play together, but if they're playing nicely and it gets quiet, you better see what they've gotten into.  My bathroom cabinet is a popular choice.

*Lots of visiting with family, friends, cook-outs, etc.  We don't have hot dogs often, but when we were at the store yesterday C saw the display of them and pointed saying, "I want all dat!"

Not a whole lot else going on except Team Brown (the hubs and myself) working together and tag-teaming trying to not screw up at being parents/spouses.  It's trial and error.  :)

Speaking of hot dogs and on a completely different note, my friend Lindsey introduced me to this great blog about eating "real" food (cutting out the processed stuff, etc.) which led me to do some more research and try to make some changes with our eating habits.  We weren't exactly junk food junkies before, but there's definitely room for improvement.  I mean, I saw Food, Inc. a while back but I guess I lacked the motivation to change anything.  At first I was like, "is this even possible for a family with two little kids and seemingly NO TIME?!"  And for my family, I'm trying to set some realistic goals and do what I can (which is a little different than what I really want to do, but I have a lot on my plate and can only do so much). 

Right now, I've decided to cut out white flour (replaced with whole-wheat) completely except for special occasions/treats and try to buy as little processed/boxed snacky-type foods (not everything, though...I think I would have a mutiny on my hands if I banned Cheerios from the house), which are my weakness, and concentrate more on real fruits and veggies.  I'm having a lot of fun trying new recipes and sharing them with my family, and I feel good that I'm being aware of what goes into my/husband's/kids' bodies.  Obviously I can't control everything and I'm not trying to (I have a huge sweet tooth and plan to indulge it!).  But it's all about moderation and doing the best I can with my time, budget, abilities, etc.  I can't do everything, but even small changes can make a big impact.  If you're interested, check out the blog and even if you're not, I encourage you to find out what you're eating...and don't trust the FDA to decide for you.  What can I say...I have a bit of my dad's conspiracy theory-ish brain! :)

I'm not Supermom

I freely admit it: I don't enjoy every second of motherhood. Anyone who says they do, I hate to say it, is a liar. Because there's nothing super enjoyable about wiping someone else's poop multiple times a day and having perpetual spit up or snot stains on your shoulder, or dealing with toddler tantrums and wondering what in the world to do to stop them. I don't like being clawed and bitten because my baby's sick and tired and taking it out on me, or showering as fast as humanly possible while my two year old whines in the doorway the entire time saying, "I want mommy I want mommy I want mommy!" None of that is especially pleasant. And lately I find myself daydreaming of freedom...what it might be like to be able to do what I want whenever I want...to be spontaneous without having to pack a diaper bag, bring extra clothes in case of accidents, and work around naps and feeding times. A world in which I'm not driving down the highway frantically searching the glove box for a napkin while yelling toward the back seat, "don't eat that booger! Wipe it on this napkin, please!". I want to travel the world and not just via House Hunters International. And summertime really makes me want to go ride roller coasters! I used to have goals and interests that didn't involve anything to do with a "potty". But I've forgotten what it feels like to not have two additional lives depending on me for the majority of the day. And...gasp...sometimes I get frustrated by this. Sometimes I just want to hide from them and the incredible responsibility.

Does that make me a terrible mom? At times I feel like it does. When the kids are finally in bed for the night and I realize I spent the entire day stressed out, short-tempered with them, and dreaming of being alone for five seconds instead of enjoying our time together, I get this overwhelming guilt that I'm not doing a good job. I'm not listening to the little old ladies who tell me to enjoy every moment because it goes by too fast. Not only that, but I didn't get much of anything accomplished besides, on a good day, maybe one load of laundry, which is still sitting on the couch waiting to be folded, and keeping the pile of dishes from spilling out of the sink and onto the counter (if I'm lucky). Forget cleaning the bathroom or mopping the tile. And I didn't remember to sweep up the parmesan cheese I spilled on the kitchen floor until the girls found it and were rolling in it.

So I'm going to be honest here: My name is Kate (Hi, Kate) and I'm not Supermom. Oh, I would like to be. I would love to have clean and well-groomed children who always obey, who eat nothing but homemade organic food in our impeccably clean home which is decorated like it came straight out of a magazine. But that's not reality, and in my home it's more like barely controlled chaos. I start the day with good intentions but by 10 a.m. everyone's clothing (including mine) is stained by breakfast or bodily fluids, someone is crying, and I can barely see the family room floor due to scattered toys and laundry (yep, it was still sitting on the couch and Cbear thought she'd "help" fold it). I was putting dinner together today and someone brought me a diaper full of poop she thought she'd try to change herself...gee, thanks hon. You really shouldn't have. I look at other moms who seem to have it all together and wonder how they do it, because I certainly can't. However, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm not Supermom and THAT'S OKAY. I can't do it all because I'm only human. I'm doing the best I can, and sometimes that's great and sometimes it's barely keeping my head above water. It's a process. Oh, and if you are one of those moms who can do it all, please don't gloat about it because it kind of makes other people (not me!) want to punch you in the throat. And that's just not what Jesus would want. (J/K...I promise I'm not really a violent person).

I read an article recently about a mom who was learning about the great cathedrals of Europe. She learned that the people who worked on them never got to see them to completion in their lifetime. In other words, they worked hard day in and day out, dedicating their lives to a project they would never see finished. She compared it to motherhood: we, as moms, are building a legacy that we may never see the results of. But it is important work, and someday these little people we raise will become adults and maybe, just maybe, do something beautiful with their lives. So, while I don't think it's realistic to enjoy every moment of being in the trenches of parenting, I resolve to remind myself of the two tiny cathedrals I'm currently working on. There are some lovely, take your breath away and bring joyful tears to your eyes moments of mothering, don't get me wrong. There is also a lot of hard work and tears of sadness. But again, I remind myself that my life as a mom is important and these two little people are ah-freaking-mazing and I love them to pieces. And here are some practical things I do to maintain my sanity when they are slowly driving my mommy train to Crazytown:

1. Lower my standards (with regards to house cleaning/laundry/dishes etc.). I do the best I can, but the world is not going to end if I choose to play on the floor instead of dusting the furniture. It's just going to get dirty again anyway.

2. Stop comparing myself to other moms. They may have gifts and abilities that I don't possess, but I have my own mommy skills too. God chose me to be Cbear and Jellybean's mom so I must be the right person for the job.

3. Accept help from anyone who is kind and/or dumb enough to offer it. It takes a village.

4. Pursue an interest that is purely for me. I have several hobbies that I enjoy but one I'm focusing on right now is writing...there's really only time for one right now anyway.

5. Go on appropriate child-free outings. Right now in my life this is grabbing dinner with some girls while hubs watches the kids or catching a movie with him and leaving the girls with a sitter for a couple hours. Nothing earth-shattering, but it's nice to have a chance to miss them. And someday they'll be all grown up before I'm ready and I'll be free to tackle my bucket list. And then I'll probably miss my babies and wish they were little and clinging to my legs again.

Baby-Led Weaning...not so crazy after all

It's official...Jellybean is eating solids!  We started almost a month ago.  When Cbear was a baby, I made a lot of her baby food--steamed or baked, then pureed and froze to be used whenever we needed it.  So, I came to terms with the fact that Jellybean was growing up and it was time to make baby food again.  And she's such a little chunker and interested in our food that I figured we'd have no problem.  Wrong!  She's very independent and stubborn (I have no idea where that came from ;)) and she was not happy about me trying to feed her.  She spit everything out, looking at me like I was a crazy person, then tried to grab the spoon and do it herself.  This continued for a few weeks, until I looked into baby-led weaning.

I'd heard of this back when Cbear started solids, and I'll admit I thought the idea was a little out there.  The basic idea is that you let your child feed themselves from the very beginning...skipping purees and going straight to finger foods.  You simply offer the food and let your baby do the rest.  Everything goes into their mouths at this age anyway, so it's pretty easy.  This allows them to control how much they eat...if they're hungry, they'll eat and they stop on their own when they're full, so they learn to self-regulate.  It also teaches them to chew first and then swallow, as opposed to starting with purees where they learn to swallow first and chew later. 

I was slightly skeptical, but figured I'd give it a try.  Success!  Jellybean loves feeding herself.  It's a little messy, but I guess by now I'm used to messes because it hardly bothers me anymore.  Of course, the foods I give her are naturally soft or soft-cooked to prevent choking, but I've been amazed at how well she does.  And I'm pretty happy that I don't have to spend all that time making purees (or money, if I were buying jarred food).  So far we've had success with banana and avocado strips, smashed sweet potatoes, green beans, brown rice and slices of pear.  She absolutely loves getting to gnaw on apples (I share if I'm eating one).  Tonight I'm steaming baby carrots to go with our dinner and planning on offering those to her.  My favorite part is that we all get to eat dinner as a family, as opposed to everyone else eating and me feeding the baby while my own food gets cold.  And Jellybean feels like a big girl eating like the rest of us.  Win-win!

So if you have an independent child like me, or if you're just wanting something more in line with your parenting style than traditional solid food feeding, give baby-led weaning a try.  And take lots of pictures!

We don't play with poop!

Warning: Don't read this post if you have a weak stomach! Also, please do not read if you'll go all judgy-McJudgerson on me about this. :) If you don't have children or aren't into the lovely toddler years yet, someday you'll understand.

We had a busy day yesterday, which led to a very late afternoon nap for Cbear. Sometimes this spells disaster, because she's super wound up from being overly tired. Still, it's better than skipping the nap altogether so when we got home at about 3:00 I put her to bed. I heard her playing back there for a LONG time, but finally it was quiet and I sighed with relief that the nap would happen. Around 4:30 I was in the hallway near her room and I smelled something foul...then had a moment of dread when I peeked into Cbear's room. Sure enough, the odor was coming from there. The kind that knocks you over and makes you want to gag. Slowly I walked over to her crib, afraid of what I might find. Here was the situation: I found an empty pull-up, but with the contents smeared all over the bed, pillow, blanket, and Cbear herself. And there, sleeping peacefully like an angel, was the culprit, with a nugget of poo in her hand.

Ewewewewewewwwww! I never thought my child would be "that kid" and here she was, in all her stinky glory. Where did I go wrong? Who in their right mind would do such a thing? I don't know, but I cleaned everything up as best I could...not a task I enjoyed, by the way. When I was done, she was still sleeping so I let her, but promptly put her in the bath tub as soon as she woke up. I'm sure that was a rude awakening for her..."WE DO NOT PLAY WITH POOP...EVER!!!  Now get in the tub, we have to wash off all this nasty stuff." Neither one of us enjoyed the tearful (on her part, although I kind of wanted to cry about it, too) bath but it was obviously necessary. I really hope I got the message across because that is not an episode I want to repeat.

Later in the evening, my sister was here and Cbear was telling the story, something about playing in poop and it was yucky, so hopefully she understood.  And after I had washed all the bedding and her stuffed Curious George (who was a little smelly himself), I gave him back to her and she exclaimed, "I'm so happy!". So it appears that neither of us are scarred for life, thank goodness.

Cbear's new pet...if only for a day

Cbear's personality is a delightful mix of little girl and tomboy. She loves "toot" (cute) clothes and shoes and must have her toenails painted whenever mommy does hers. But she also loves playing outside and getting dirty. She lets puppy dogs lick her face and digs in the mud with sticks. I love this about her.

This past weekend with her cousins, she discovered a love of playing with worms. She wasn't scared a bit, carrying them around and showing them to everybody. So the next day, we were outside in our own yard and she found a worm with her daddy. I was in the house putting Jellybean down for a nap so I missed the beginning of the friendship. But after finding him under a stone in the yard she named the fat earthworm "Snake-mo-mo" and for the next hour or two they were inseparable.

Cbear made a little home for him with a bowl of water filled with rocks, set him down in it and had a whole conversation. She played with him in the sandbox. She tried to jump with him on the trampoline but daddy wouldn't let her. She made him hold a piece of sidewalk chalk and draw a picture on the patio. She chattered away at him as they played. At this point I came outside and she gave him to me saying to Snakemomo, "You wanna hold mommy?" I put him back in his water for a little bit and Cbear was ready to play some more. So she took him for a ride in her wagon, then put him on the swing and pushed him. In fact, he had to try all the swings, ending with Claire holding him while daddy pushed her. At this point she accidentally broke Snakemomo and just after that she was distracted by something so we put the poor little fellow back on the ground. I'm not sure if he returned Claire's affection; I think he ran away as fast as he could scoot.

Today we went outside and Cbear immediately started searching for her little pet. "Where Snakemomo? Where he go? He in the water? He in the grass?" I guess he was either put out of his misery or found a good hiding place!

Ten things I want to teach my kids

I'm a believer in intentional parenting...I feel that if the hubs and I don't parent ON PURPOSE then our children will just end up a product of the culture and I don't want that. I want to protect their innocence and help their childhood be as magical as it should be and for them to be all they can be as adults. For my own sake, I've made a list of ten things I want to teach/instill in them, and after looking over these I could probably use a little reminder in my own life.

1. Be kind. Even when others aren't kind to you. The way you treat others isn't dependent on the way they treat you...be kind regardless. Don't yell "mine!" when someone wants to play with your toy. Share. Do nice things you know will make your sister happy. Be friendly: smile and say hello to people you meet. Have good manners...say "please" and "thank you".

2. Contentment. Be satisfied with what you have. This is one reason we try to keep things simple for Christmas and birthdays...we want the little things to be enough. We do not always need more, more! We have ENOUGH...much more than we need, in fact.

3. Play pretend. The world is full of possibilities when you use your imagination. You can go anywhere or be anything. So be a princess, fight the dragon, or fly away on the clouds. Just pretend (and only watch T.V. in moderation).

4. Be creative. I remember my mom and aunt telling us kids to "do something constructive." To us that meant making doll houses out of cardboard boxes, donning sheets and colored paper crowns to be royalty, or making indoor tents out of old quilts, chairs, and clothespins. So mold and shape play-dough into a sculpture, color outside the lines, write a story, make a masterpiece out of construction paper...just don't make a habit of saying, "I'm bored."

5. Become a lover of books. Incredible adventures await you! Reading will serve you the rest of your life...in school, work and play.

6. Be responsible. Even a toddler can be taught to put away toys at the end of the day, so I'm trying to start early with this one. Play hard and then clean up the mess when you are finished.

7. Be active/play outside/get dirty. Don't be a couch potato...get outside and get moving! Run, play tag, kick a ball, ride a bike, swim like a fish. A saying from my own childhood: "God made dirt and dirt won't hurt." Jump in puddles, dig in the mud with a stick and squish your toes in the sand...it'll wash off.

8. Be positive. Bad things will happen in life...don't let that steal your joy. There is always something to be thankful for. Look for the good in others and in your circumstances and use your words to be an encouragement to those around you. Don't become bitter when life gets hard.

9. Give back. Volunteer your time to help others. When you have outgrown your clothes or are finished with old toys, donate them to others who aren't as fortunate as you.

10. Have courage! Don't be ruled by fear. Try new things even if they seem scary at first. A life in which you embrace new experiences is an adventure; a life held captive by fear of the unknown is incredibly dull.

Jellystones!

My little Jellybean is becoming such a big girl. She turned six months old last Friday and with that change has come several milestones. A couple weeks ago I had a non-mobile (except for rolling, which she's a pro at), toothless, exclusively breastfed baby (besides a few tastes of things). Not so anymore.

Jellybean's army crawling all over the house (nothing is safe!) and getting into everything. Like stickers that big sister leaves all over the place (I found one in her poo...guess she thought it might be tasty? Ew.). She's figured out how to get to the dvd player and push buttons. And her favorite activity now is to go where the carpet and tile meet by the back door and pick at the carpet. I'm not sure why this is so interesting but she's fascinated by it. It looks like she'll give Cbear a run for her money with her busyness and getting into stuff.

The first tooth has made it's appearance. I have to say J's been really good with teething...not very fussy at all and one day there it was! I think the second one's close behind. Let's hope she doesn't become a biter.

And finally I've started feeding her some solid food. I always put this off as long as I can, but now it's time. She still spits most of it out but the look on her face when she tries something new is priceless! So far we've done avocado, banana, sweet potatoes, rice cereal and butternut squash. Her favorite has been banana mixed with cereal but she enjoys biting the spoon more than anything else. Cbear is pretty excited that Jellybean gets to sit up in a high chair beside her and is constantly talking to her during dinner..."Hi Jellybean! You yike it? You yike it? Whatcha doin'?" A few days ago we were at a restaurant and they were sitting across the table from each other. Cbear was totally baby-talking to Jellybean like she's seen adults do ("A-boo-boo-goo-goo!") and baby girl thought it was hilarious. Nobody can make J laugh like C can and I love it! I hope they'll always be best buddies.

DIY play kitchen

I was feeling crafty yesterday, so here's my first tutorial--a DIY play kitchen from a cardboard box! The best part is I only used materials I found around the house and garage so it didn't cost me a penny!

Cbear got a new carseat this week, and of course immediately wanted to play with the box. It was a really nice box so I started brainstorming what I could make with it...you know, 'cause I'm cheap, and after a quick google and pinterest search I decided to try and make a play kitchen. It's something I thought Cbear might like but I'm not willing to spend $100+ on something she *might* play with. Here's the box before...I ended up having to cut it open, turn it inside out and re-tape it so the spray paint would cover it.

Found some spray paint in the garage...thank you previous homeowners for leaving your paint behind!

I ran out of red so we ended up with a red/brown combo. That's okay, it matches my family room.

The burners are made of circles cut out of black plastic and glued to the box with Elmer's.

Cutting an opening for a curtain under the sink...why yes, that is a steak knife I'm using! The hubs' utility knife was dull and scissors were too difficult.

Knobs for the cooktop are made of plastic lids hot glued on. I really wanted to poke a hole in the middle and use brads so they would turn but I thought Cbear would figure out how to take them off and then the brads would be a nasty choking hazard to Jellybean.

I found an old loaf pan for the sink and a soap pump for the faucet. I traced around the pan and cut a hole in the box to fit. I also cut a small opening for the pump and hot glued around the base. If I can find red and blue plastic bottle lids I want to use them as hot and cold knobs.

Hot gluing an aluminum foil roll with my old kitchen curtains slung over them.

A command hook with a spare wash cloth.

All done! I'm considering cutting an opening under the burners for an oven.

A craft stick hot glued to a plastic bowl= pot. Cbear had some plastic picnic food and I donated some rarely used kitchen utensils and empty oatmeal and pasta boxes.

And after all that, she climbed in and thought I made her a fort. Maybe that will be the next project? I'm glad it didn't cost me anything!

A little perspective

Dear God,

Thank you for the incredible blessing of my children. I know they drive me crazy sometimes and I complain too much, so I'm putting a new spin on their habits and situations that make me get twitchy. Here goes:

Thank you for making me a mother. I know some don't get this privilege and it's an honor to raise our little girls. Thank you that they are healthy and energetic and outgrowing clothes too fast. Thank you for their curiosity about the world and wanting to explore every bit of it. Thank you for Jellybean's new tooth and for how much she wants to be just like her big sister, so she is trying her darnedest to learn to crawl. It will be any day now. Thank you that Cbear wants to make Jellybean happy, so she shares all her favorite things with her: stickers, playdough, crayons, milk, Cheerios...among other things. Thank you that my girls are delighted by the simplest things, like clapping hands (Jellybean) or a game of chase (Cbear) and please give me a little extra energy for the latter. Thank you for their utter joy at being outside and playing in the dirt and grass, for dirty bare feet and sticky hands. Thanks for their drooly kisses. Thank you for the hundreds (thousands?) of dirty diapers I have changed and washed, along with plates and sippy cups--it means they are well-fed and have plenty to drink. Thank you for piles of laundry and dishes, which are helping me to develop a servant's heart. Thank you for making me (or their daddy) the person they want when they are scared or hurt, no matter what time of day it is. Thank you for creating children to make joyful noises...even when it means Jellybean excitedly shrieking JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN and catching Cbear in her crib singing songs that go, "jumping on the beddie beddie bed!" while doing just that even though she should be sleeping. Thank you that Cbear reminds us to pray before dinner when we've gotten too busy and just want to eat without catastrophe. Thank you for their extreme independence and sensitivity. I'm hoping that means they'll be confident in who they are and compassionate as adults. Thank you for the utter exhaustion that means a day full of hard work and play. Thank you that my kids make me rely on you more than I ever have because without you I simply couldn't do this.

And God, thank you for my husband and partner in this...that he loved me before the kids and will be by my side long after they've left home. Thank you that he not only works hard to provide for us, but that he kisses me and then gets on the floor and plays with the girls even after a long day of work. Thank you that we KNOW him and he's not just the man that leaves in the morning and comes home in the evening. Thank you that he's not afraid to make messes with them and let them be the kids they are. Thank you that Cbear wants nothing more than shoulder rides from daddy when he comes home and that he's the first person she wants to show when she puts on a pretty new dress. Thank you for making the two of us a family seven years ago and growing us by two more now. Please give us the grace, patience and wisdom to raise these little stinkers in a way that would glorify you, especially because we feel like we have no idea what we're doing most of the time.

Amen.

P.S. Oh, and thanks for all things Curious George--he's a lifesaver sometimes!

"Green" Smoothies

I'm taking a break this morning from my usual blog fare of kid stories to share a recipe (and procrastinating getting things ready for Cbear's birthday party tomorrow). There's been a lot of talk lately about green smoothies, how healthy they are and a good way to get your greens, detox, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a friend about these smoothie recipes and how people are all, "you can't taste them (the greens) at all!" and we were skeptical (it certainly can't be as good as ice cream, right, friend?! You know who you are. :)) Well, while I still maintain that it's not quite as yummy as ice cream, I made up my own recipe (because, not to brag, but I love smoothies and I'm pretty good at making them) and you can't taste the spinach and it's really delicious and guilt-free. Oh, and my smoothie ended up purple, not green.

half a banana
4 oz Greek yogurt (I used strawberry)
handful of raw spinach (maybe about a cup? I didn't measure)
handful of frozen blueberries
3-5 frozen strawberries
1-2 Tbsp. milled flax seed
milk
orange juice

Add the first six ingredients to your magic bullet (this is what I use, but of course you can use a blender) and then fill almost to top with half milk and half juice. Blend and enjoy!

All right, now I must be off to clean and make cupcakes. :)

First foods

This is not a post about Jellybean starting solids, although that is right around the corner! Rather, I'm writing today about the big sister helper who likes to share everything with Jellybean. Poor Cbear...the concept of sharing is difficult for her to understand. She is told over and over to share with her sister and friends, except food and drinks! Unfortunately those are the things she is quickest to share with others. As a result, Jellybean has experienced quite a few tastes of things she shouldn't have eaten yet and Cbear may have also inadvertently built up a few of her little buddies' immune systems.

I'm fairly strict about the "no solids before 6 months" rule for babies. At least, that was the plan. Also, we always make Cbear sit in her chair for meal time. My downfall has been that darn snack cup of Cheerios, which she insisted on carrying around for several months like a security blanket (we've finally kicked the habit, thankfully) and getting too relaxed during her afternoon snack, letting her sit on the bench at the table instead of strapped in her booster. As soon as I leave the room to do something, she's off the bench and sharing with Jellybean. The thing that gets me is she KNOWS she's not supposed to feed Jellybean because she runs away if I catch her!

Here are a few of Jellybean's first foods, thanks to big sister. She appears to have no adverse effects, so don't judge me...

1. Cheerios. Several times I've had to dig out those little O's.
2. Graham crackers (The looks on Jellybean's face was priceless...what is this mush?)
3. Whole milk...Jellybean was latched on to that sippy cup like she owned it!
4. Fruit snacks. I just about had a heart attack thinking she would choke but she appeared to really like the flavor and was mad I dug it out of her mouth.
5. Smoothie (I was being lazy and giving Cbear breakfast in a cup with a straw...oops!)

And since everything goes straight into Jellybean's mouth, I suppose I could add that stack of sticky notes and daddy's drill that Cbear gave her...yikes. We really are good parents, I promise...but sometimes are outsmarted by our (almost) two year old. Please tell me we're not alone here!

So, now Cbear is under close supervision or in her booster when eating. But it looks like those efforts were in vain, because I just changed Jellybean's diaper and found...a bit of grass and a small leaf among the stinky contents. That's right...Jellybean found a snack of her own when we were having a picnic last night. Lord help me!

Changes

It's been several weeks since I've written and it seems that life is changing rapidly...just when I think I've gotten things figured out these darn kids go changing their habits and routines again!

My excitement that Jellybean was going to be a super mellow baby has gone by the wayside, but I wouldn't change her at all. Right now she's a busy, busy almost five month old! She's happy most of the time but is rarely still, I'm like, seriously, kid, relax once in a while. Apparently life is just too delightful and she's afraid she'll miss something! I love that about her, though...she gets so excited about every little thing...like bursting out of her skin joyful and she just can't contain it. She's interested in everything big sister is doing and can't wait to be able to do it herself. Yesterday Cbear had left a sippy cup on the floor just out of Jellybean's reach and I caught her trying to crawl toward it...what what?! I managed to grab my phone to record it and after my initial proud mommy moment I thought..."Noooo!" I'm so not ready for her to be mobile yet! It's happening, though...she definitely thinks she's big stuff.

Cbear is being extremely ornery lately and getting into all sorts of shenanigans. I only had to call poison control once (I came in the room and she was sucking on a neon orange highlighter...does this girl have functioning taste buds?) but that's only because I knew the rest of what she's gotten into was nontoxic...including but not limited to diaper rash cream, crayola marker, and a wash rag dunked in toilet water. And that's only what she's eaten, not the messes she's made. Apparently even if you think your house is childproof...think again.

We're in the process of potty-training Cbear (yay!) and she's getting there. One day a couple weeks ago out of the blue she asked to go potty so we're running with it. Along with this, though, has come a new challenge: she's become very fond of taking her clothes off all. the. time. I don't know why. She'll strip down and say things like "I cold! I need blankie!" Um, why don't you just leave your clothes on then? A few times I've been busy and found her naked with puddles nearby...ew! So she's been getting into trouble for stripping down all the time but I'm not sure it's doing any good, because I went into her room to get her up for the morning last week and she was sitting there, naked as a jaybird and super happy about it. When I asked why she did it, with absolutely no remorse she replied, "I naughty!" Sigh. I think I'm going about this wrong. The best one is this, though: I always go check on her before I go to bed and several times I've found her, dead asleep and stark naked. Lucky for her she's too precious when she's asleep for me to be angry. Daddy and I had trouble keeping our laughter quiet as we re-dressed the naked, sleeping baby in her jammies!

Finding balance

Tomorrow my baby girl will be four months old and next month Cbear will be two. I'm finally starting to feel like the chaotic fog/survival mode that I've been living in the past few months is starting to lift and I'm working on figuring out life as a stay at home mom of two small children. One thing is for sure- it's kind of messy but I'm doing my best to find balance.

I'm one of those people who enjoy having time home alone and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm rarely alone anymore. Showering and sleeping (sometimes, although lately I wake up in the rocker in the middle of the night, with a sleeping Jellybean in my arms wondering how I got here?) are about the extent of my "me time". It's okay for now; someday I'd like to pick my hobbies back up again, though! I have two or three novels waiting to be written and artsy crafty things to make. Not to mention a house to organize. And books to read. For now, though, I try to work in a little bloggin' as a creative outlet and read on my phone when I get a few minutes. This is an area that needs improvement, as sometimes I feel my brain cells start committing suicide after one too many episodes of Word World, but I'm still figuring out how to have happy, clean children and make dinner and have clean clothes. Hmph. Similarly, the hubs and I are trying to find "we time" where one or both of us doesn't fall asleep on the couch just trying to watch a show together. But I digress...back to the subject.

When Cbear was born, we were living in the country and I took this love of being at home and alone a little too extreme, partly because it was such a hassle to go anywhere. It was an hour of driving, plus figuring out when and where to feed her while in town and work around naps...it made me crazy so we only left the house like once a week, if that. I didn't cultivate friendships like I could have and I regret that, but I've learned from it. I was happy being with my baby but I was also lonely and stir-crazy so when we moved to town I was determined that things would be different.

I've heard some stay at home moms say that they make sure to go somewhere every day, and up until a few weeks before Jellybean was born we were almost doing that. I got involved in MOPS, attended a Bible Study, took CBear to library story time and playdates, plus grocery shopping and running errands. While that was fine for a while, I'm finding that that approach doesn't work for us now. I can't stay home with the kids all day every day, but I also can't schlepp them around town constantly either. Balance. Now I'm trying to pick and choose our activities so about half of the week we have a morning activity (because I'm not messing with afternoon naps!) and the other half we stay home. For one thing, I don't like who I become when we are on the go too much...I get all naggy and rushed and flustered when my kids are just kids and it takes FOR.EV.ER. to get out the door and we're perpetually late. And I think hyperscheduling is rampant in our culture and although I do want my kids to have a variety of activities, I think there is also value in learning to slow down and enjoy a life that is a little more quiet at times. I'm still debating on whether putting Claire in a toddler gymnastics class is a good idea...hmmm.

I've learned a few things in the two short years I've been a mom and especially in the last few months since we became a family of four. First of all, a sense of humor is essential to my survival...otherwise I'd be crying by the end of every day (or by 10 a.m., possibly). I don't always succeed at this but I'm trying not to take life too seriously and enjoy the funny things my kids do and the humorous circumstances in which we find ourselves (like the time I thought it would be a good idea to put Jellybean in the stroller and Cbear in her monkey "backpack", a.k.a. leash, and run into Walgreens really quick. Let's just say the line was too long and I got all sorts of judgy looks as my toddler tried to run away and ended up rolling around on the germy floor trying to free herself of the harness. Nice.).

Teamwork between the hubs and myself is also turning out to be pretty important as we figure out this parenting thing. I'm lucky that he is a great daddy and husband and puts up with our messes and pitches in when he comes home from work, playing with the kiddos and doing CBear's bedtime routine and going on random cleaning frenzies when the house is too much of a wreck. The girls' nightly baths are becoming one of my favorite family times as we all crowd into the bathroom, each take a kid and talk about the day or laugh at the kids' antics.

More than anything else, I think I'm learning patience...mostly how I'm sorely lacking in it. It takes exercise to build muscles, though, and my patience is tested and stretched every minute of the day (so it seems). Trying to get a baby to sleep, a toddler to eat healthy food, discipline, never ever being able to finish a task I've started due to a million interruptions...these are just a few of the situations that make me feel incredibly IMpatient with my kids and circumstances. I wonder if in some ways this is how God feels about me...dealing with my same shortcomings over and over again. Thankfully he is infinitely patient and loves me anyway. Most of the time I feel like I fail miserably but it's all a work in progress and I get tomorrow to start fresh and try to do better. I'm so glad I have people in my life that I can depend on, but more than anything I wish my mom could be here to give me a hug and bestow some wisdom on my life...like how did she survive staying home with three kids without totally losing it? She always seemed to know just what to do in each situation, how to respond to us in a loving manner...I wonder if I will ever get there? I don't know...but I hope each day I get a little closer, find a little more balance, and become a better mom.

She speaks...

I think every parent experiences a moment of shock and awe when you realize your baby can talk, and isn't even really a baby anymore. Of course there are the first words, which are so exciting to hear, but I'm talking about when they start to string words together and form coherent sentences. Lately it seems like Cbear's language has exploded and she's talking all. the. time. It's hilarious. I had a moment the other day when we were being silly eating grapes and I said, "oh, I like it!". Cbear piped up, "I yike it too!" I know that really doesn't seem that significant but to her mom...well, I felt like she was the smartest kid ever.

So, both for your reading enjoyment and for my own documentation (her baby book is sitting on the shelf...sadly not getting filled out by me) here's a compilation of my favorite Cbear-isms so far.

-Instead of "excuse me" when she needs to get by, Cbear just yells, "beep beep!" That's what I want to say to people who won't get their carts out of the way in Wal-Mart aisles.

-Her new favorite phrase is "goodness gracious, honey!"

-Following a large diaper blow out by Jellybean, "excuse you!" or sometimes she just points and says, "poopin'".

-I gave her a taste of my grapefruit the other day. She ate it and said, "yucky orange."

-She apologizes to herself if she gets hurt, i.e. falling down or bumping her head- "I sorry!"

-I'd had my fill of cartoons so we were watching a sea turtle documentary on netflix. While watching baby turtles scurrying across the sad toward the ocean, she dropped down on all fours imitating them and exclaiming, "turd runnin', turd runnin'!"

-Her FAVORITE thing is to be chased. She's still figuring out pronouns so sometimes she'll start to walk away, look back and say, "chase you?" when she wants me or daddy to get her.

-I don't really get much alone time...when using the bathroom the other day, she backed up to me and asked, "sit on yap?" (lap). Um no, please let me wipe first.

-Cbear has a doll named Sweetie Pie (who she calls "pee pie"...cracks me up every time) and lately she's starting to play pretend. Like we'll just be sitting in the living room and she'll say, "Pee Pie crying! Sad!" and run to her room to soothe her.

-She's also given her doll to someone, pushed her into their chest and commanded, "eat!" just like she's seen mommy nursing Jellybean.

-She makes Sweetie Pie do things she's not supposed to abd then scold "no ma'am!"

-Cbear likes to wedge herself in somewhere and say, "I'm stuck!"

-Occasionally she'll just break into song while playing. And it's usually a random combination of "Jesus loves me", "Twinkle, twinkle little star" and the ABC's. As in "Bible so...twink twink lil sar...what you are...T, R, E!"

-She's answered the question, "what do you want for breakfast?" with the response, "roni cheese?" (macaroni and cheese) and another time, "tookies?" (cookies). (I said no to both).

-Cbear was getting a stern talking-to from daddy after hauling off and smacking Jellybean for no reason. In the middle of this, she giggled and pointed to his mouth saying, "bubbles!". Daddy really had a hard time keeping a straight face during that particular scolding.

-She can count to eleven. And she will do it out of the blue!

-Sometimes there are no words. Jellybean has figured out how to "talk" and she and Claire have excited shrieking competitions. I can't wait until they can have conversations for real; now that will be entertainment!

More to come, I'm sure...

You know you're a mom if...part deux

I thought of more...more awesomely crazy things we all do as moms. Here ya go:

-You voluntarily hold out your hand and let kids spit things into it. ("What's in your mouth? Is that food? Let me see! Spit it out! Spit it out NOW! We don't eat rocks.")

-You get ridiculously excited about things like new shampoo or lotion so you can "pamper" yourself.

-You've justified looking like a train wreck yourself because, "at least the kids look cute." (They may, in fact, be covered in peanut butter and Cheerio dust, but they still are cute.)

-You no longer try on clothes before you buy them, because how in the world are you supposed to do that with one baby attached to you and another performing contortionist moves to get out of the stroller?

-You've actually bought clothes at Wal-Mart (without trying them on) to avoid the above mall scenario.

-You have given up on the above scenarios and do all your shopping online. In the middle of the night.

-You don't eat at fancy restaurants but still feel the need to apologize in advance for the mess your kids will create while at a "family friendly" restaurant. Also, you feel that any eating establishment with CARPET is just asking for it.

-Any and all activities must be scheduled around naptime. If this doesn't happen, you're sure the world will implode.

-You can no longer remember your own birthday thanks to mommy brain, but can still recite "Guess How Much I Love You" and several classic Dr. Seuss books in their entirety from memory.

-You are interrupted no less than 57 times while simply trying to eat a sandwich.

-When you enter a store, everyone is well-groomed and content. When you limp out an hour later, you are a disheveled hot mess, the toddler looks like she's been in a post-apocalyptic battle over crackers (because you thought it would be a good idea to give her a snack) and the baby is screaming like she will end you if you don't get her out of the car seat this second. You also suspect the toddler was leaving a trail of cracker crumbs Hansel-and-Gretel style to find your way back to the car just in case mommy has totally lost it and forgotten where she parked.

-Instead of New York Times bestsellers, you now read mommy blogs from your phone while rocking your baby to sleep.

-The sweetest sounds in the world are gurgly goos from the baby and squeals of delight over something simple like chasing your toddler. And the blissful silence when they are both asleep.

-Every once in a while you have a spectacular moment where you stop and stand in awe of the toddler singing "Twinkle, Twinkle little star" to the baby to stop her crying when you couldn't get to her fast enough. And it's awesomesauce.

Mommy needs a time-out...

It's been one of those days...one of those weeks, really. The kind that makes me want to lock myself in my room with half a gallon of Braum's chocolate almond ice cream, some good reading material and favorite movies and just be alone. We're all getting over nasty stomach bugs (except Jellybean, who escaped it thank goodness!). We're tired, stressed and the house is a wreck. Cbear has been super whiny since she doesn't feel good and Jellybean must be going through a growth spurt because she's been waking at night to eat again. I had grown really attached to 6-8 consecutive hours of sleep at night. I can't do anything around the house because someone always needs held or my full attention. All of this made today somewhat...challenging. I mean, I love my kids to death and I'm so grateful I get to be here with them every day, but crap, sometimes the stay-at-home mom gig is rough. We survived though, as always, and as I type here in bed with everyone else in the house asleep I'm able to regroup and laugh about it instead of cry (which, incidentally...Cbear always laughs at me when I cry...not sure what she thinks is so funny?). I've assembled a (true) list of what it's really like to be a stay-at-home mom. Enjoy!

You know you're a stay-at-home mom if:

-you consider eating the rest of the Mac and cheese and yogurt from your toddler's high chair as a decent lunch for yourself.

-you take great measures to get everyone dressed and fed so you can get out of the house and without fail, someone poops and/or spits up all over the place the minute they are buckled in the carseat.

-the great question of your life is what activity (or non-activity) to engage in during naptime. You don't want to make the wrong decision and squander that precious time.

-you have eliminated black tops from your wardrobe because they show spit-up stains so badly or worse, you're beyond caring about this.

-all you really want in life is to go to the bathroom by yourself.

-you have to make a conscious effort to lower your voice an octave when speaking with other adults.

-just about the time you think you absolutely can't take any more, your kids go to sleep and you just watch them in awe thinking about how beautiful and angelic they look.

-when you actually get the chance to go out with your husband sans kids, you have difficulty relaxing and enjoying yourself because you hope they are doing okay with the sitter.

-you have forgotten what it's like to not have someone else's bodily fluids on you.

-nothing grosses you out anymore and you have little tolerance for others in this area (like husband gagging when changing a dirty diaper).

-your favorite hobby has become showering because it's the only time you're alone.

-you have creaky spots in the floor memorized and walking down the hall during naptime is a little like navigating a minefield.

-you are an expert multi-tasker...for example you can draw a snowman for your toddler on a magna-doodle upside down and left-handed while nursing (true story). You can also fix lunch like this.

-you consider turning on PBS and sprinkling Cheerios around the house and just letting the kids fend for themselves for a while.

-you find yourself using baby sign language in everyday conversation.

-you don't work out anymore because you figure chasing a toddler counts as cardio and carrying a baby is like lifting weights.

-you thank God every night that your kids are healthy enough to drive you nuts.

-nobody can make your kids smile and laugh like you can and you get paid for your efforts with sticky kisses. It makes all the daily struggles worth it. :)

Home sweet home/Welcome 2012!

This past weekend we packed up the girls and headed to the wilderness (okay, maybe not exactly "wilderness" but there are an awful lot of winding dirt roads to get there!) to ring in the new year with friends. And although we all had a great time riding 4wheelers, shooting, hiking (as much as you can with a few kids in tow), playing games and eating too much, I have to say that I was super excited to get home last night. Apparently I'm getting to be quite the homebody in my ripe old age of 26 (not that I ever was one to go out and party...that's not really how I roll). But I think back to our college days and how Clint and I lived out of suitcases pretty much every weekend during that time...now it's a major ordeal just to go somewhere for the day (whether it be to visit family or our outing to the aquarium last week, which I didn't get a chance to write about but went about as expected with a toddler and baby...) much less to spend the night somewhere. I can think of two reasons- 1)we have our own home now (not just a rented place) and 2)a certain couple little kiddos. So the following are the top reasons home is now where my heart is:

1) Diapers! Even though I'm a cloth enthusiast, it annoys me that half our luggage consists of pee/poo catchers. Oh, and my diaper sprayer isn't portable. Not to mention the herculean effort to have all the diapers clean at one time and ready to be packed...I used to be really good at having them clean, folded and put away...but since Jellybean came they have taken up permanent residence in a laundry basket and I grab them as needed...we go through them too quickly! So yes, that gets on my nerves, but not enough to buy disposables.

2) Nap/bedtime. This isn't a problem for Jellybean, as long as she can snuggle and have a pacifier she will fall asleep anywhere...CBear is more particular. As in, she will ONLY nap at home in her crib or in the car if she's really tired. This drives me insane because it means there will be a battle if we are somewhere other than home in the afternoon. I'm sure people think my child is undisciplined, but I promise that 99% of the time she goes down for a nap at home happy as a clam. Anywhere else, she's kind of a monster. Bedtime is easier than naptime, but still makes my blood pressure rise wondering if she'll go to sleep well or not.

3) Toys. Bringing sufficient entertainment for the kids without feeling like you're moving in and taking up residence somewhere is a delicate balance.

4) Food. As much as I try to get CBear to eat what we're eating, sometimes you just need to have her favorites on hand...for her we don't go anywhere for an extended period of time without cheese, fruit, cheerios, crackers, milk, etc.

5) My own bed...this one is all me. I've become quite attached to my own pillow, blankets, and bed and sleep great when I'm snuggled up in them.

6) Discipline. Is it just me or is it easier to correct your children without an audience? I get all self-conscious and end up either being too permissive or too strict, depending on the situation.

7) My home is toddler and baby-proof (pretty much) so I can relax for a minute without worrying that they'll get into something they shouldn't.

Even though I do love being at home sometimes you've just got to get out and be among people...and then come home and take a vacation from your vacation!

On another note, happy new year and welcome to 2012! I never make resolutions (I'm aware I lack the necessary stick-to-it-iveness to bother with them) but I do enjoy reflecting on the past year and dreaming about the possibilities a new year holds. These past few years have been full of changes for our family including moving (twice!) remodeling an old home and deciding to move to a less high-maintenance one, having CBear in 2010 and Jellybean in 2011, job change, new town, finding a new church family and starting new friendships. It's been quite a roller coaster ride, but I think I'll be okay if 2012 is a little less exciting than the past couple years. I'm looking forward to simple things like a little more family time, becoming a better mom and wife (I'm a constant work in progress), pursuing a few of my own creative interests and figuring out my purpose where I'm at right now...how to share God's love "for such a time as this". Happy New Year!